Two little boys talking. The first one asked the other, “Are you four or are you five?”
“I think I’m five.”
“Well, does a cute little girl do anything to you?”
“No.”
“Then you’re four, I’m five.”
Three men died and went to heaven. They were new, so they congregated together. One said, “How did you die?”
The second man said, “I heard a rumor that my wife was entertaining another man while I was at work, so I hid in the bushes, and sure enough, a man went in there. I waited a minute then burst through the door. ‘Where is he’ I yelled. She just told me I was crazy. I was so incensed, I threw a chair out of the window, and then a table out of a window, and then the stove, and then the refrigerator, but the handle of the refrigerator caught in my coat and down I went with it and that was the end of me. How did you die?”
“I was walking along this street and someone shouted, ‘Look out!’ and a refrigerator came out of a window and that was the end of me.”
And then they asked the third man, “How did you die?”
“Well, I’m not really sure, you see, I was hiding in this refrigerator…”
The minister said, “Smith-- this wine, women, and song is no good. Do something about it.”
Smith: So, I gave up singing.
